I saw someone’s typo and I just…….. I’m sorry.
I saw someone’s typo and I just…….. I’m sorry.
Anne Heche will make her LoK debut as the voice of Suyin Beifong during this Friday’s back-to-back episodes, airing at 8 and 8:30 EST on Nick!
I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Anne Heche yet (Mike was in all of those recording sessions), but I absolutely LOVE her work in this role. She has a cool, classic, Old Hollywood quality to her voice which suits the time period really well. You get to meet Suyin Beifong and LOTS of new characters in tonight’s second episode.
“Everything Elliot did is perfectly justified. … I am the next Elliot Rodger and guess what I’ll do the right thing this time.
I’ll make sure I only kill women”
This is what I meant when I said that the actions of a single man can be ignored as an abnormality, but the reactions of so many others can not. (via fandomsandfeminism)
GIRLS ARE NOT A THING YOU GET. They’re not a goody bag at the end of the frat party.
People in movies can’t have it both ways: either pop culture is totally irrelevant, and therefore the work they do is totally irrelevant, or pop culture does matter, which means they will sometimes have to reckon with the fact that their work can be a force for evil as well as good. If you want people to see Dallas Buyer’s Club and leave with greater empathy for the challenges the LGBT community faces, you have to be prepared that people will see darker movies and leave with darker thoughts, and that even—especially—seemingly innocuous movies can and do have a powerful influence over the way we think, feel, communicate and behave.”
Memo to Seth Rogen.
Being an ally is really important, but it is also hard work. As I said at the start, these are steps you have to continually go through over and over again. You never stop working on being an ally, but you can slowly get better at it. It’s not a label. It’s a process.
Yes to this: being an ally requires action. First listening and learning, then taking active steps to support the cause.
This article is a great place to find one simple step you can take today to improve your understanding or move from inaction to action.
I really love that distinction: “being an ally is not a label; it’s a process.” Those few words make it really obvious to me when I’m just preening and using the label, and when I’m actually doing something worthwhile.
But the overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to “earn,” to “win.” That if we try hard enough and persist long enough, we’ll get the girl in the end. Like life is a video game and women, like money and status, are just part of the reward we get for doing well.
The relationship between this week’s mass shooting and misogyny in tech, by Arthur Chu. HIGHLY recommended reading.
The stories we tell ourselves matter.
100%. The stories we agree to share are so crucial.
#YesAllWomen Have Stories Like Mine
I search the #YesAllWomen stream and scan the variations on a theme. I read through a few dozen, taking ninety seconds at most, then scroll back up to the top: 239 new results. I know I have nothing I could possibly add, nothing that hasn’t been felt and lived by countless others. Adding any of my stories would be much less than a drop in the ocean. But I sit here silently, watching other, braver, more eloquent women, and my silence reminds me of what I’ve been doing my whole life: Keeping my stories to myself, cripplingly aware of just how commonplace and unremarkable they are. I ask myself, if I were to speak out, which story should I share?
[This is something I’ve had saved in my drafts for a couple of months. In light of #YesAllWomen I am just going to post it, even though it gives me heart palpitations to do so. I’d only told two people about the guy who sexually harassed me at work before tweeting about it the other day. I go into…
After Elliot Rodger’s shooting spree, it soon became apparent via his lengthy writings and confessional video that he was motivated by a self-professed hatred of women, a hatred that embodied so many of our society’s insidious anti-woman cultural norms - such as the need for men to own and control women’s bodies, the impulse to blame women for the crimes committed against them, and so on. As a result, many people began discussing the killer’s misogyny and its role in the killings. But here’s the strange thing that happened next: many critics began to argue that these anti-woman motives were irrelevant, and should be ignored.
The reasons given for wanting to ignore these women’s issues were varied: Some argued that the real issue here is mental health, or gun control, or some other Big Thing, and it is a shame that people are focusing on his misogyny and not these root causes instead. In short, the basic idea was that something else is to blame for these shootings, even in spite of the killer’s own stated agenda, and we should pay attention to such-and-such thing, and definitely not misogyny.
These attempts to change the subject, to turn the attention away from our misogynistic culture, are not simply innocent changes of focus to more relevant causes of violence. They are all too often unconscious or deliberate attempts to silence women; they are techniques of minimization of women’s issues; and they are a reflexive defense of a misogynistic culture trying to protect itself, disguising its silencing mechanisms as an emphasis on some real hidden truth, and oh, by the way, you are only allowed to speak about this “real truth” and not the utterly apparent misogyny of the killer’s own words. It would be too distracting, or something, to have to also think about that.
When Muslim extremists kill people, and give religious and political reasons for their crimes, we do not frequently hear a chorus of people shouting about how mental health, or their access to guns, or something (anything!) else is the root cause, and that we should stop focusing on the role extremist religious views or acrid political beliefs may have played in such violence. No, in the wake of political and religious violence, we are perfectly content to take the killers at their word - that they killed for political and religious motivations. There may be some attention to the role mental illness may play, but in the end no one is shouting that we should focus on mental illness by shifting away from the existing emphasis on politics or religion. It is easy for our largely non-Muslim culture to accept this explanation at face value. However, when the root cause is misogyny, our culture reacts defensively, knowing that it is enmeshed in patriarchal anti-woman norms, and insists we focus somewhere else. It tries to do this in a nonchalant, seemingly well-meaning way, as if to say, “Oh misogyny? Yes I ca- oh but would you look at that. Look at this. Mental illness. Guns. Wow, I really think we should address these issues instead.” There is a reason we reflexively turn away from anti-woman justifications for violence yet are easily accepting of other political and social explanations in other cases. In a way this instinctual desire to silence discussions of misogyny just ends up proving the point at hand - that women’s issues are a real problem that desperately need to be addressed.
In all likelihood, Elliot Rodger is indeed mentally ill. In all likelihood, it was also all-too easy for him to attain guns. These are important points, but they should not be used to silence the misogyny so explicit in the killer’s motives. It is possible to discuss all of these potential problems, as we frequently do in other cases of violence, and without minimizing the role his hatred for women played. In the end, it is painfully obvious that the attempts to silence discussion of women’s issues are themselves motivated by latent anti-woman cultural norms.
What makes this silencing all the more insidious is the fact that a discussion of our misogynistic culture is arguably much more necessary and important than either a discussion of mental health (that is, in relation to violence) or guns. For instance, most mentally ill people are not in fact violent. And yes, guns are frighteningly accessible to most anyone here in the United States, but mass killings like the one involving Elliot Rodger are incredibly rare.
Violence against women, on the other hand, is all too common. The motives expressed by Elliot Rodger for his killing - sexual jealousy, a need to control women, etc. - are some of the most common justifications for domestic violence and violence against women in general. And the normalization of this violence against women, via social structures and norms that encourage men to view women as objects to be owned, as partly to blame for their own victimhood, etc., mirror Elliot Rodger’s misogynistic motives as well. Men who are perfectly sane commit acts of violence against women every day, and for the same reasons Elliot Rodger expressed in his confessions. When women are told to stop talking about these issues, to focus instead on mental health, or guns, or whatever it is we can find, in a desperate attempt to excuse ourselves from having to examine the misogyny engrained in our culture, we do ourselves a disservice and directly contribute to the misogyny, distrust, and hatred of women that helps make so much violence possible.
Last week I saw a man whistling at a woman across the street. She ignored him, and he yelled at her as a result. I decided to ask him why. Specifically, what did he hope would happen? Like, did he think she might give him her number? He shrugged, laughed, said, “whatever man.”
He could [sic] care less - her approaching him wasn’t a thought. Kind of shocking to see him admit how much it WASN’T about her. It was so clearly about his ability to impose himself in the space. To exert his ‘manhood.’ He was performing for other men. The woman was just an object via which he could make himself bigger, more valuable - and value could only come through other men’s respect. When she ignores him, it’s the slight against his masculinity which stings, not so much because he ever thought they’d really hook up.
He doesn’t even know her - so why is he so hurt? It’s like he “deserves” respect, so she literally becomes the “thing” he deserves. Because for many men, you cannot be respected, valued, or live a meaningful life without displaying ownership of women. See also: displaying superiority to people of color, dominating those you perceive to be weak. And when value is “taken,” men learn the appropriate response is anger. Take it back. To not would make you even less of a “man.”
This one guy may never use physical violence, but his attitude is the norm. Which means so many other men have even less self-control. We may not meet the #UCSB murderer everyday, but we do meet these men. We - especially other guys - might remind them: women are people and you can’t own ANY people. Also, she owes you nothing. And you are not bigger for demeaning her.
When we don’t speak up, we tacitly affirm the “whistle” as a display of manhood. Thus we affirm misogyny and toxic masculinity. But we - the ones who value men more for standing against the misogyny than for promoting it - are actually the majority. So the truth is, if men are really feeling excluded from society, demeaning women isn’t the path to inclusion. Fighting oppression is.
I didn’t tell him all that. But I should have. It’s terrifying, esp. tonight, to think how many times I didn’t speak up at all.
A transcription of tweets concerning UCSB shooting, misogyny, and masculinity by Imran Siddiquee, Director of Communications for The Representation Project, the organization behind Miss Represenation and the soon-to-be-released documentary The Mask You Live In
My favorite part:
Because for many men, you cannot be respected, valued, or live a meaningful life without displaying ownership of women. See also: displaying superiority to people of color, dominating those you perceive to be weak. And when value is “taken,” men learn the appropriate response is anger.
It’s mainly my favorite because this is a thing I have done and unfortunately still do if I need to prove myself and/or earn respect. I disrespect women/PoC/”weaker” people when I’m around other men to up my status in their eyes. That’s not okay.